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50 Funny Wedding Vows to Amuse Guests

Funny Wedding Vows

Updated on: Feb 09, 2024

Everyone loves to laugh! Why not encourage it on your wedding day? From tips to special editions, here are several editions of funny wedding vows for finding the right words to say, with a dash of humor!

5 Tips for Creating Funny Wedding Vows

  1. Try and incorporate cute and funny nicknames that add some light-hearted meaning as part of your wedding vows. Does each of you have a special name for each other?
  2. Consider hiring some help and speak with an expert if you don't know where to start or need some inspiration.
  3. Choose family stories that are funny, memorable, and won’t leave your guests confused. Maybe try and add some touching playful rivalry between your fiancé's family and yours. Be careful and light-hearted, and understand where to draw the line. Sports and politics are great examples.
  4. Welcome laughter as a theme because eloquent wedding vows have chosen and clear themes when being composed. Focus on main topics to convey about your fiancé such as sense of humor, compassion, or dreams and adventures to take together.
  5. Let the wedding vows come from the heart and reflect your personality. Are you entertaining, funny, or competitive? When situations get too serious, do you get uncomfortable? Stay true to yourself when reciting your wedding vows.
  6. Try to avoid using one-liners since they might come off as flat and corny. Try and shoot for well-worded and worthwhile promises with some humor sprinkled in it.

Funny Wedding Vows: Movie Edition

Are you a movie lover? Check out these memorable movie quotes that are sure to bring some laughter when reciting your wedding vows!

7. "We belong together like Sandy and Danny in Grease."

8. "Until death do we part? Let’s try to infinity and beyond."

9. "If some scientists discover a way to clone dinosaurs and they escape like Jurassic Park — I vow to protect you, as best as I can, from those dinosaurs. That is how much I love you."

10. "If you happen to turn into a vampire or a zombie, I promise you can bite me, so that we may be undead together."

11. "I promise I will laugh at all of your <insert favorite movie here> references."

12. "I promise that when you eat all your popcorn, I will be the one to go get you more during the movie."

13. "I continually think about the beginning of the movie Up... do you think that is a problem?"

14. "I promise to be by your side, even if the zombie apocalypse happens and you are turned into one. I promise to allow you to bite me, so I can be turned into one and be by your side forever."

Funny Wedding Vows: Song Edition

15. "I promise I will love every last part of you… even when with your snoring and obsession with those terrible ‘80s ballads!"

16. "I vow to love you as much as people like the musical Cats. Now and Forever."

17. "I vow to listen to Hamilton about a million times with you, just know that I am not throwing away my ... shot."

18. "Will you take me as your hunka-hunka burnin love husband?"

19. "In the words of Salt n Pepa, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. And man they were not wrong."

20. "I vow to never stop believin, as long as you vow to always be my brown eyed girl."

21. "I promise to stay with you, even when you sing loudly in the car."

Funny Wedding Vows: TV Show Edition

22. "When I want to binge-watch Netflix, you are the one I want to do it with, forever."

23. "When they say in sickness and in health, that 100% includes streaming binges."

24. "<insert name here> doesn’t share food just like Joey from Friends."

25. "I promise to not play the next episode without you present."

26. "Without hesitation, I promise to love you. If people ask me why, I will reference the famous Michael Scott by replying 'That’s what she said’."

27. "I vow to always wait for you when we watch our shows and to never secretly watch ahead to see what happens."

Funny Wedding Vows: Readers Edition

28. "I love you, just as much as I love reading <insert favorite book series here>."

29. "I promise to read The Notebook with you, so we can cry when we watch the movie together."

30. "I love you, but if you get angry just know I will refer to you as ‘She Who Should Not Be Named’ and leave you alone."

31. "As you marry me, may the odds be ever in your favor."

32. "I would marry you with a goat and in a boat. I would marry you in the dark and in the rain while riding on a train. I will love you in a box and I will love you, (you are a fox) and I will love you even if our house has a mouse, and I will love you forever here or there. I promise I will always love you anywhere."

Funny Wedding Vows: Food Edition

33. "Let’s make some bad choices, eat all the wrong things, take all the bad turns, and then let's tell-all those great stories, the same ones — forever until no one will be able to stand us, except each other."

34. "I will be your GPS, your co-pilot, and will bring all the snacks for our road-trips as we go through life."

35. "Even if I am thirsty and your drink will be right there, in front of me, I promise to not drink it."

36. "I say ‘I do,’ but I do not mean the dishes."

37. "Since I love you way too much to suffer from my cooking, I will buy takeout for dinner every night for us."

38. "I promise to always let you eat the last slice of pizza, except if that slice has pineapple on it."

Funny Wedding Vows: His Edition

39. "In front of all these people, I vow, to cherish and love you forever. I declare to face any obstacle that comes against you, and if the <insert favorite sports team here> lose, I’ll comfort you and, if they win, I promise to share a beer with you."

40. "I will buy taller shoes for you, so that you are able to wear your desired heels."

41. "Even during the off-seasons, I still promise to love and honor you."

42. "When you take your Instagram-worthy photos, I promise to be the one there for you."

43. "Although only one of us really has long hair, I will unclog the bathtub."

44. "I vow to always hold your bags when we shop and never judge your fashion choices."

Funny Wedding Vows: Her Edition

45. "For you my love, unless you are hogging the covers, I promise to never steal them."

46. "I promise until death do we part ... or until you are a <insert your favorite sports team here> fan."

47. "I guess you can say I finally accept your rose."

48. "During any Black Friday deals, I will try my best to not spend all our life savings."

49. "Even when you are still playing your Xbox, I promise to cherish and love you even when we are old."

50. "I vow to love you as much as I love chocolate, coffee, and every single episode of Grey's Anatomy combined."

Funny Wedding Vows: Conclusion

Expressing your love to someone with words can be a challenge. Write your wedding vows with ease and from the heart. Incorporate humor to make funny wedding vows that will have guests and yourself laughing, with memories to share for generations. We've got you covered when it comes to your wedding vows and other important wedding ideas.

Written by Mackenzie Hogan

Mackenzie Hogan

The University of Texas at San Antonio

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The-Thien Michael Pham

Towson University

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