How to Address a Wedding Invitation to a Widow

Congrats on the engagement! Wedding planning is an exciting time and sending invitations is one of the steps to take before the whole wedding event begins. There are many proper etiquettes to follow for wedding invitations and understanding how to properly address a person’s title or name is important, but addressing a wedding invitation to a widow can be quite challenging. Although there are no correct or legal ways to address a widow, it is best to try to figure out what’s the proper title and name to use respectfully while not offending her or triggering sadness. For more ideas on planning a wedding or staying organized, check out our wedding expense sheet and task list.

Writing a Wedding Invitation to a Widow

Consider the following suggestions before writing a wedding invitation to a widow:

1. Ask the Widow

If you are close to the widow, don’t be afraid to call and ask the widow over the phone to see which title and name to use. This is the best way to find out directly from the person you plan on inviting with respect. If anything, she’d appreciate that you asked and that you’re considering inviting her over to your wedding! Her title can be a sensitive topic, but you are helping her be more comfortable at your wedding.

Keep in mind that calling to ask has to be the right timing and it may not be a good idea to ask right away if her husband recently died. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the widow about this or aren’t close to her, think about why you are deciding to invite her and why you plan to include her as one of your guests.

2. Use the Widow’s Full Name

It never hurts to use the widow’s full name and title as “Mrs.” before her husband was deceased if you are unsure. It’s always a safe bet to use her entire name as to how it was before, as it shows respect to her and her late husband. Another option is to use “Ms.” and write the widow’s entire full name with her first and last name.

If the widow never changed her last name to her spouse's last name before and kept her maiden name, you can address the widow with the name she has always been using. If this is the case, address her by her first name and maiden name with either the title "Mrs." or "Ms.", for whichever she prefers you to use, or go with "Mrs." to be safe if you have any uncertainty.

3. When in Doubt - Use “Mrs.”

Traditionally, “Mrs.” is the most preferred way to address a widow. It is also more common to go with "Mrs.," since a woman is more likely to keep her married name when she becomes a widow. A woman becomes a widow when her husband passes away, but she is still referred to as “Mrs.,” with her husband’s last name. Although a widow may have lost her husband, that doesn’t mean she loses her title or drops her husband’s last name completely. Depending on if the widow has been remarried or other circumstances, it’s ultimately up to the widow what she decides to do, so make sure to check in and see what she prefers.

4. Consider Using “Ms.”

Addressing the title with “Ms.” can be used as an alternative for a widow. It could be a long time since she lost her spouse and might have decided to change her last name to her maiden name instead. Since you are not sure of the widow’s marital status, “Ms.” is a neutral title to use for any woman. However, "Ms." could also be referred to as a woman who is divorced, which may not be appropriate for a widow. Do avoid using “Miss” as that is a title that is not as appropriate for someone who is older than 30 and has been married before.

5. Depends on Who’s Sending the Mail

The widow may have a preference on her title and name, but that may depend on who this invitation is coming from and your relationship with the widow. If this wedding invitation is coming from someone who knew the widow’s husband, the widow could prefer to use Mrs., but otherwise, if you don’t know the widow’s husband, her preference could be Ms. instead. This all depends on the widow’s preference and you might not know until you ask!

6. If the Widow Has Children

If you plan on inviting a widow and her children, be sure to address the widow as her with Mrs. and her husband’s last name, or the same name she had when she before she became a widow after she became married. This is if her children do not have two last names and only take their last name as the widow’s husband’s last name.

7. Writing Informally

On the envelope or the wedding invitation, if you do not need to address the widow by using a prefix, you can avoid doing so with informal writing instead. Her name and title could also depend on whether or not she is currently dating. It is possible to just use her first and last name, without having to figure out the prefix.

8. Use your best judgment

Lastly, use your best judgment to the best of your ability when you think through this on how to address a widow in your wedding invitation. Think over what you choose to do before you send that invitation and keep in mind if you were in the widow’s shoes, what would you prefer?

Wedding Invitation To Widow: Conclusion

When writing out a wedding invitation to a widow, don’t assume what the widow wants to be called or addressed. Whether you're sending out a wedding invitation, a sympathy card, or helping a grieving person, it is important to address a widow properly. Just like each person may have a name preference, widows may have a preference as well. If you are unsure, directly ask the widow to find out how they want to be addressed.

They will be understanding that it is difficult to address a widow and will appreciate you taking the time to address her properly. Some widows may prefer to be addressed with the title Ms. or Miss instead of Mrs., but if anything, use your best judgment and think before you send over a wedding invitation.

Written by Stephanie Tse